Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I love this place! Clearly the best place to "visit" I've ever been. The people here are quite interesting, it's easy to meet people by just going out, but I find it hard to categorize or describe them in only one page. I'll do my best for you:

Tourists: I've talked to hundreds of them by now. As usual, I wound up hanging out with the Aussies. Met up with two Aussie blokes who are crazy and as hard drinking as any other Aussie I have met. In most of my previous trips off the US mainland, I wind up hanging with the Australians. Ramsey and Chipper are the two most outgoing skirt chasing blokes I've ever met. I met them at the hotel bar yesterday at 5:00 PM. and they have been drinking for 24 hours since they left Australia. They are very open hearted people, and buy me as many drinks as I allow them to. They also talk and flirt with every woman within 40 feet of them. Chipper; who has a very loud voice when drunk, has a harsh accent similar to the Cockney accent that some Londoners possess. In the big jacuzzi yesterday, he was talking to a mother and daughter from the Lake Tahoe area, and was totally conversing with them even though they were clearly looking down their rich noses at him and rolling their eyes whenever he spoke. They were both very pretty, but had that "OMG! we have never talked to regular people who are just being nice" thing going on. Chipper was merely trying to take some of the starch out of their collars: He didn't succeed. He also the invited a "hooker" into the taxi that drove us from the second bar to the third one. When she found out that we were not customers, she asked for 10 dollars to give her a cab ride back to her original spot. They argued with her just for fun and seemed to have a good time jacking with her. I gave her the 10 bucks just so she would leave.

Afterwards we hit a bar called "Lulus" and Ramsey proceeded to romance some blond from Minnesota for several hours. Chipper, who was quite obliterated at this point, left the bar and disappeared; after 20 minutes, I went out looking for him, but only saw a few hookers, homeless people, and a gangster or two, but no Chipper. This was at 2:00 A.M. and the outskirts of Waikiki is not the safest place to lose a drunken friend. I got back to inform Ramsey, and Chipper comes walking back in almost right behind me. I suspect that he found an alley somewhere and got rid of the many drinks that were in his system.

Ramsey, like Chipper, also has a very harsh accent and his Lebanese background makes it very funny when he speaks. Both are very happy and seem to just want to spread the joy around. Ramsey also likes to "take the piss" with nearly everyone he comes in contact with. Always smiling, he walks up to people he doesn't know, puts his hand on their shoulder, and asks them something like "who are you?. Where are you from....and other things. He does this to the women, the men, the hookers, the old people, but his joyfulness is sincere, contagious actually. Both of these crazy bastards seem to have fun everywhere they go. They are very positive and a joy to be around; they always bring the party with them. I have been hanging out with them for three nights and there is never a dull moment. They are quite free with their money and constantly try to beat me to the check. Good they are leaving tomorrow since I really can't afford going to clubs till 4 AM on a daily basis, but things will never be as fun. We are great friends after three days and I plan to visit them in Melbourne next summer.

The next day, after I woke up at 5:00 P.M. I went down to the bar and found my new friends drinking their 8Th margarita. Then we all headed to "Dukes Place", on the beach, and ran into an Aussie couple from Sydney, who were in their mid 30's. Although not nearly as obnoxious as the other two Aussies, they were still hard drinking and fun people. They thought it odd that the US is so uptight about the drinking thing. We met them at Dukes for the past two evenings and they were very fun and interesting to talk to. Both were highly educated and very laid back. The Aussies are the best in my book. They speak their minds and do not engage in negative small talk about petty stuff. The Aussies find that merely being alive is cause for celebration. They are happy and content with life and do very well at "spreading the joy around". I vow to take a leaf from their books in the positive thinking department (I already have their drinking abilities).

After we closed "Dukes Place" down, we went to a very cool, but seedy bar in the International Market Place, and found well drinks for $3.00. I introduced Chipper and Ramsey to a drink known as the "Long Island Iced Tea", which is made using 4 shots of various liquor and little else of nutritional value. This is the strongest drink I know of and my friends had about 9 of them apiece!! When that bar closed at 3:00 A.M. we started heading back to the hotel. This is when Ramsey and Chipper started trying to take the orange "wet floor" cones. I tried to talk some sense into them, but both were three sheets to the wind, and unable to comply. About half way thru the marketplace (which was closed), we were surrounded by 4 security guards, who did not approve of their antics. I knew they were going to hold us till the police showed up, but instead; they made Ramsey and Chipper put back ever single cone back where they got them; just like a Principal of a school leading two little delinquents back to the lunch room to clean up their messes. I assured the head security guard that I would make sure they left the market place and that I'd get them home safely.

On the way back thru a pantheon of late night hookers, pimps, street people, and cops, I felt like a shepherd trying to lead two stubborn old goats back to safety. The problem was that the Aussies wanted to talk to every whore and criminal they met; they wanted to "share their joy"! With much persuasion we nearly got back to the hotel, when Chipper; proceeded to urinate right in the middle of a public parking lot. Fortunately the police didn't see him. Once I got them back home they both went up to their room, with no further antics; which was good since checkout time is 11:AM. (to be continued)